Just when I thought we had things all worked out with Mom, they have changed again! Mom agreed to move into a senior citizen complex for people with early-stage memory impairment. Then on Sunday, she had a mild stroke and she is now going to need more assistance. I am just overwhelmed with the prospect of having to make all these decisions over again!
Dreading Decision-Making
Dear Dreading,
The very reason this disease is referred to as a “journey” is because it continues to change. Your loved one’s brain is degenerating, and she is only going to get worse – not better. Often, both the blessing and the curse is that the disease progresses slowly. Unfortunately, one can’t put out a sign that says “already have one illness, can’t get another – sorry, my scorecard is full!” There will be changes in this process and there is little choice except to forge ahead, but with assistance.
The Fifth Absolute for Caregiver Decision Making is: Never Stop, Instead Progress. Your role as caregiver is one of the most difficult you will face in this life, and there will be times when you feel you just can’t take any more. Before you get to this point, you must request and accept assistance – and there are many ways to find it. Ask for assistance from the person that is stating she is no longer appropriate for the senior citizen complex, they will provide you with resources for your next steps. When you are feeling overwhelmed and trying to figure everything out on your own, it is sometimes difficult to admit you may not know the best path to take, or even what questions to ask. Make a copy of this and hand it to the person at the senior center, they will provide resources in your community – they do it every day, they care, and they want what’s best for you and your mom.