Dear Jo,
It is getting more and more difficult to get out of the house with Dad. He has difficulty getting in and out of the car, and often at restaurants he can’t seem to sit down on the chairs. I want to be able to take him places, because it’s fun for both of us when we go to lunch or do a little shopping. Is there anything we can do to make the process easier?
Need To Simplify
Dear Simplify,
This is a very common issue for many loved ones. A process called Apraxia makes it more difficult for a person with Alzheimer’s to perform major motor skills. It’s not that it hurts or they can’t do it, but their brain simply isn’t sending their body the right messages.
This falls into the area of Absolute #8: Never Command or Demand, Instead Ask and Model. A picture is truly worth a thousand words. If your dad is having difficulty sitting down, position yourself somewhere he can see you, and go through the motion of sitting down. Very often that seems to provide people with dementia or Alzheimer’s a visual cue, and they will then sit down. It sounds too easy! It is easy, and it really works. The same thing works when people stop eating. Often it is because they just don’t know what to do next. If you sit across from them and eat, they will often model what you are doing. It is okay to take this easy route, it’s certainly much better for you and for your dad than trying to force a motion that isn’t quite happening.